Living in Alignment
The River of Change, Self Trust, and the Cure for People Pleasing...
We’re almost halfway through 2024. Already.
Monday I had a relatively light work day so I did a little audit of the year to date, and then had a think about what I wanted to achieve in 2nd half of the year.
I found myself in a bit of paradox/pickle around goal setting.
I 1000% believe in having vision - but the way I try to live my life now, is to allow myself to be entirely open to surprise.
To the unknown.
I know what I want (right now at least) but I don’t know how I’ll get there.
I don’t have the instruction manual.
I have some ideas, some inspirations, but I truly have no idea what the next 6 months will hold…
…and that’s kind of cool, and on a bad day, scary.
It also often feels antithetical to the standard Bro-level goal setting.
And sometimes (*cough* Monday) I get stuck here. I use my head, not my heart.
And yet when I work with people it’s all about inspiration and alignment. It’s listening to your own internal nudges - your higher self - and it’s taking that very next inspired step.
Sometimes only the very next section of your path becomes illuminated.
We’re so accustomed to forcing, pushing, hustling our way towards our vision, or goals…or we simply give up, burnout, or get ‘distracted’ by a shinier path.
Oftentimes more aligned goals emerge while taking action.
And that can feel hard to acknowledge - changing your goal now might feel super uncomfortable.
“Life begins at the end of your comfort zone”
Neale Donald Walsch
Does this quote illicit a groan from you too?
Sometimes I feel like I don’t wanna….
Creative Nuggs
I’m a big fan of Dr. Joe Dispenza’s work.
If you’ve listened to This Juicy Life, you know I’ve been to a few retreats, and believe in meditation and manifestation (which I shared about last week).
Dr. Joe talks about how we are habitual creatures - we will choose the comfortable well-worn path even when we know it leads us to a dead end.
Choosing a different path - letting go of those thoughts, feelings, and behaviours that no longer serve us - he refers to as the death of the old personality.
When I’m meeting people who want to talk about coaching, there are generally two types of people.
Person A who is sooo ready to change - it’s the feeling of you only change when it becomes more uncomfortable not to.
And Person B who is afraid to change - afraid that they’ll suddenly become a different person and everything they currently enjoy will be taken away from them.
When I went to my first Dr. Joe retreat in Cartagena, I happened to eat breakfast with a guy named Pedro from Majorca. I casually asked him what has changed in his life since he started doing this work?
He put his utensils down and looked at me, dead serious…
“EVERYTHING.”
This felt both exciting and terrifying at the same time. I was Person B.
Rest assured, these scary changes don’t happen overnight!
The rug will not be ripped out from under you.
Over time, you may start to notice the rug isn’t working for you anymore, you might think about getting a new one, stop noticing the rug, or you might decide to put that rug in a different room where it fits better.
My point is, sometimes the change is so subtle you don’t notice, and sometimes it feels like it reorganizes things in your life in a way that suits you better.
It’s uncomfortable because you’re no longer on autopilot.
“To commit to changing ourselves first ... so our life will then change ... means embracing the unknown. The unfamiliar. The uncomfortable.”
If the unknown is “where all of the possibilities exist,” then we need to be able to manage that discomfort while we’re creating an authentic, aligned life - a life we truly desire.
Moving from Survival to Creation
The “work” is recognizing it’s uncomfortable because we are choosing to change.
Recognizing that our bodies and egos want to protect against this.
Recognizing we might have a fear response come up, or our ego may try to talk us out of the action; you probably shouldn’t reach out, you might get rejected.
This is our first clue to relax, to self-regulate.
How do you relax or self-regulate? Do you:
Get out into nature?
Have a nap?
Take a bath?
Call a friend?
Pull some tarot cards?
Listen to music?
Move your body?
Journal?
Please let this serve as your reminder that adding these inspired actions into the pursuit of your goals, is just as essential in helping you achieve them.
We cannot create the future we desire, without also recognizing the discomfort that will inevitably ride shotgun.
Choosing to nurture ourselves while continuing the pursuit of our dreams, vs. bulldozing our way forward through the discomfort, or abandoning the vision entirely.
Dr. Joe’s formula for creation is:
Many of us creatives are automatically transported to this place when we’re creating…this is the state of FLOW.
This is generally also when/how inspiration occurs.
Rick Reuben says “we are all translators for the messages the universe is broadcasting.”
When we’re relaxed in the heart and awake in the brain, we can start to listen to these messages, and to our internal guidance system.
We can make choices based on this guidance.
This is living in alignment.
Sometimes the messages aren’t so comfy cozy in that very moment, but if we choose to listen and take the leap, they ultimately lead the way to expansion and creating the life we truly want.
The Untangling
“Leap, and the net will appear.”
John Burroughs
On our most recent episode of the Podcast, Aliyah and I talk about the Dirty Downside of Alignment.
When we were discussing the topic of alignment and the blind trust it requires, I said something that completely surprised me.
“I am the net”
I’ve got me. I trust that I will figure it out. I trust myself.
What a liberating feeling to know that even if that net doesn’t appear, I will be there for me.
Living an aligned, authentic life is beyond magical.
It’s the path to creating the life of your dreams.
You experience flow, deep trust, clear(er) inner knowing.
Things unfold in surprising ways, you attract more opportunities and people that match this alignment.
AND ALSO…
It can feel excruciating.
You have to make some hard choices that are super uncomfortable…
Because you can no longer lie to yourself.
Ugh. But also, Yay!?!
You might feel things more deeply… and given the state of the world, that can feel tough.
You might take more action, stop sweeping things under the rug, and start to take more responsibility for your life.
You might have to recognize your power and stop playing small.
This might threaten your sense of belonging in your current space.
BUT…
You will fee more like yourself than you ever have.
You will trust yourself.
You will think outside the box.
You will stop settling for less, and you will paint a clearer picture of what you really want to attract.
You’ll get into the ‘vortex of creation,’ you’ll crack the code, you’ll feel deeply connected.
You will trust yourself and your intuition above all.
And also sometimes incredibly inconvenient in the moment.
For me recently it’s lead to a break up. In the past it’s lead to me leaving a job I enjoyed. It’s lead to me giving up the creature comforts of my own home and renting it out.
It sometimes requires making the hard choice in the moment to uphold the truth of who you are and where you’re going.
It’s a short term pain for a long term gain.
And it has lead to me trusting myself so much that I continue to walk the walk…
Even when the path is not yet illuminated.
A word of caution to my fellow people pleasers…
Owning your truth in this way is powerful and it leads to creating clear boundaries.
Sometimes people don’t like that, which threatens your ability to please everyone.
And if you’re single like me, you may no longer be able to identify yourself on dating apps as a girl “who doesn’t take themselves too seriously.”
;)
Abundance Aggregate
I’m about to make a bold claim that I believe with every fibre of my being, and yet still find difficult sometimes.
I am creating the most abundant life for myself.
Do I want to create more abundance? Absolutely.
Do you deserve more abundance in your life? Absolutely.
AND still, it’s important to stop and take stock of where we are currently overflowing.
I am already a rich woman
Rich in the relationships I’ve created, cultivated, and called into my life.
The more congruent I am with myself, owning my authenticity, sharing honestly - even when it’s supremely uncomfortable - the brighter my lighthouse beams.
My people find me, and I find them.
Sometimes in the ways you least expect.
The job I spoke of earlier - the one I chose to leave because it was no longer in alignment - gave me a beautiful opportunity to meet and coach so many of these people (hi dear friends reading this!)
I had breakfast with one of these amazing women, Andrea Rodriguez, this week.
Andrea is a vibrant, multi-talented Colombian/Canadian artist who is currently in the midst of peak mural season in Toronto.
If you know me, you know that small talk isn’t really my jam…
Andrea shared with me that her grandmother always shared a credo that translates roughly in English to all boats have a stream. Essentially, we all have a path… and the path is always in flow.
We can try to force our path to flow a certain way, or we can just go with the flow and enjoy the ride.
This isn’t passive.
To be in flow is to listen, to tune in, to choose that path that feels inspired or juicy.
Back to that job for a second…these particular artists did not choose me for a coach, and to be fair, I didn’t entirely choose them either.
And yet, we came together. Our boats met up mid-stream to co-create abundance, as if it was entirely designed this way.
I had Andrea on the podcast several weeks ago, and she graciously shared about her own journey moving to Canada and the feeling of not ‘belonging.’
Our breakfast date this week reminded me of her beautiful passion (her WHY) behind everything she does; holding the mirror for other Latina women, to see themselves in her.
To borrow her confidence for a moment.
To know that her journey is not unlike theirs.
To see a woman succeeding who faced (and faces) all of the same odds as they do.
She says “I’m in the jungle with my machete carving a path for other women to follow.”
Gatekeeping doesn’t make sense to her - she gladly shares her resources, her experiences, and her wins.
She wants other Latina women to know that they don’t have to settle for the low level creative career, that they deserve the financial abundance they desire.
That they can also find and co-create collaborative abundance in their communities.
I am so grateful (and fully inspired) that I get a front row seat to Andrea’s jungle trek.
She picks up speed and motivation as others join her, and are inspired to do the same.
With that much momentum, she may soon have to find another jungle.
Just as a rising tide lifts all boats, perhaps it also illuminates our aligned streams.
My best friend Aliyah and I always say that we’re cruising downstream together in our unicorn floaties that are tied together.
We may each have our own aligned streams, but we are all in the water together, co-creating aligned abundance.
On this note, nothing quite fills my cup like helping you untangle your creative brain.
Yesterday while I was driving home from Toronto a little inspiration nugg popped into my head… if I want to keep co-creating abundance in this community then I could offer a free 90-minute creative brain untangling session! Fills my cup and hopefully yours too!
No strings attached - it’s my gift to you for reading this many words each week!
You can book yours here, anytime before the end of July :)
These can be used to help you work through your ideas & inspirations, re-prioritize your goals, figure out the next aligned step in your business, or just have someone who can help you see your magic.
There is nothing I’d like to see more, than you taking inspired action - and quite honestly, this offer is me taking my own inspired action.
Lots of love!!