"Play" & Revelling in your Weird
The Paradox of Productivity, your Play Personality, and Poop
Pee-wee’s Playhouse was one of those weird formative shows for me. I was like…
Is this this dudes life!?!
He just gets to play all day and phone his fun friends and see their faces while he talks to them?? What is this magical make-believe life?? And how is this bro earning money?
Except I’m quite sure the 6-year-old version of me did not ask that because Pee-wee had already acquired the luxury treehouse that I was trying to buy with various business ventures like performing for the neighbours and charging them money. Anywho…
When I’m in the flow… it feels like play all day, especially when I’m talking to people on the zoom phone about their dreams and seeing their face while I do it!
It’s actually how I met Brittany, my fellow Pee-wee Herman fan and former client. Brittany’s bio states:
“I make weird things and make things weird”
And I just knew she was my people.
Her work delights with its playful weirdness.
I could list for you the multitude of creative ways I used to play as a kid. I was also the neighbourhood play idea-generator. Possibilities were endless.
And then suddenly I wanted to shed my kid-ness. STAT.
I was most definitely trying to hide my weird so that I could seem cool (or at least try to), in an effort to belong.
And I lost my authenticity along the way.
I think we’re programmed to just sort of forget who we were as kids, and what lit up our inner weirdos. We trade that in for some version of ‘seriousness’ or productivity.
"We don’t stop playing because we grow old… we grow old because we stop playing”
George Bernard Shaw
A not-to-distant past version of myself had drinking alcohol intertwined with play and celebration. It wasn’t until I stopped drinking that I had to go on a bit of a treasure hunt to rediscover what actually lit me up.
A few winters ago I was at a party where all the adults were talking about boring ‘adult things’ and having a drink. Behind them were all their kids sledding down the hill and screaming with joy.
And then I couldn’t ‘unsee’ it. Couldn’t put the genie back in the bottle.
What is this bullshit!?!
Why is it only acceptable/normal for the kids to have this kind of fun?
Our ideas for what constitutes “play” become so narrow! We play by letting our hair down and drinking wine with our friends…
We play sports (not me, but some people), but usually with a motive of productive “exercise” mixed in there.
When was the last time you played with ZERO AGENDA?
Creative ‘Nuggs’
I love a good library perusal now that its not linked with productivity and getting good grades. I like to play this game where I go to my favorite section and scan the shelves until something compels me to stop.
This book practically fell off the shelf asking me to read it.
PLAY - by Stuart Brown, M.D. (Quoted throughout)
In the last few years I discovered that for me—
Play is connected to Creativity.
“There is a kind of magic in play. What might seem like a frivolous or even childish pursuit is ultimately beneficial. It’s paradoxical that a little bit of ‘nonproductive’ activity can make one enormously productive and invigorated in other aspects of life.”
We’ve been conditioned to feel guilty about taking breaks, finding joy in our work, or taking time away from work, in order to play.
And yet Play, according to Brown, has a purpose or it would have been eliminated through natural selection. Brown’s research extended to the animal kingdom, to better understand our innate desire and need for play.
“They found that the bears that played the most were the ones who survived best. This is true despite the fact that playing takes away time, attention, and energy for activities like eating, which seem at first glance to contribute to the bears’ survival.”
So why do they do it?
The researchers believe that play teaches animals emotional intelligence by learning how to read the cues and adopt an appropriate response, in turn teaching young animals to make sound judgements.
What constitutes play?
From Stuart Brown’s research:
Apparently purposeless
Voluntary
Inherent attraction (ie. it’s fun, it feels good!)
Freedom from time (flow)
Diminished consciousness of self (‘in the zone’ - not self conscious)
Improvisation potential (open to new ideas, serendipity, - not rigid)
Continuation desire (we never want it to stop)
I love Brown’s summary; that play is the “essence of freedom.”
Many inventions began as play:
The 1st steam engine and the first airplanes, both toys.
Wind-up toys led to the development of clocks.
Darwin got curious about evolution by collecting samples from the seaside and garden where he played as a kid.
Einstein came up with his theory of relativity after imagining himself riding on a streetcar travelling at the speed of light.
“Just like children, adult streams of consciousness are enriched through the simulations of childlike imaginative play.”
“The genius of play is that, in playing, we create imaginative new cognitive combinations. And in creating those novel combinations, we find what works.”
“With enough play, the brain works better. We feel more optimistic and more creative.”
When your ‘weird’ is seen and celebrated
Brown shares a story from an interview conducted by Ken Robinson with a dancer named Gillian Lynne, who went on to become the choreographer for Cats and Phantom of the Opera.
Gillian did ‘terribly’ in school and could not control her ‘fidgeting.’ Her concerned parents took her to see a specialist. After speaking to Gillian for a few minutes, the Doctor turned on a radio in his office and shut the door, leaving Gillian alone.
Beckoning Gillian’s mother, he pointed to her daughter through the window, as she twirled around the room. “Your daughter’s not sick, she’s a dancer.”
When our ‘weird’ is not seen and celebrated, we learn it’s time to grow up and “put childish things away.”
To be taken seriously, we must be serious.
Our adolescent brains are still being developed, and here we are getting prepared for “productivity” culture.
Important to note the distinction between play and work…
The opposite of play is not work—the opposite of play is depression.
Play and work are mutually supportive. We need the newness of play, its sense of flow, and being in the moment. We also need the purpose of work, the economic stability it offers, and the sense that we are doing service for others.
The quality that work and play have in common is creativity.
Just a little true play in one’s life can bring everything else, including work, back in balance.
Play Personalities:
Which one are you?
The Joker - play always revolves around some kind of nonsense. The class clown. A practical joker, or joke teller.
The Kinesthete - this person thinks best, and feels happiest when moving. This person might play games, but competition is not the focus.
The Explorer - Exploration becomes the preferred avenue into the universe of play (it’s when they feel most creative or imaginative). This can be travel, or emotional - searching for new feelings, or deepening of the familiar. Or mental - research, seeing new points of view.
The Competitor - This person is always keeping score - solitary or social. Fun comes from being the top person in the group, or business.
The Director - enjoyment of planning and executing scenes and events. Perhaps unconscious, but they love the power. Born organizers.
The Collector - the thrill is holding the best, the most interesting objects or experiences. They enjoy this play as a solitary activity, or find social connection with others who have similar obsessions.
The Artist/Creator - joy is found in making things. They may show their creations to the world, sell them, or never show anyone what they make. This person could also be someone who loves decorating, or be someone who enjoys taking something apart and making it work again.
The Storyteller - imagination is the key to the kingdom of play. This is people who make themselves a part of the story, who experience the thoughts and emotions of the characters - they may write, or watch movies, or read books, or they may be a performer. These people can bring play to almost any activity.
What’s your play history? What lit you up as a kid? How did you feel when you were doing it? That’s a good place to start the excavation.
The Untangling
Clearly, I LOVE to play.
I recommend it to clients and friends alike, I’ve hosted parties & events where the main premise is to play, I’m pretty much a PUSHER OF PLAY.
In my previous corporate job I forced every member of the C-Suite to play by writing them ridiculous roles in office parodies, which I premiered for the entire company at our holiday parties.
This was not my actual job — this had nothing to do with all-the-years of being a hard worker, and putting in my time at that company — but it’s what I became known for.
I think my primary play personality might be The Storyteller, I love to bring a sense of play to everything.
AND YET…
I still have to remind myself to play.
We are such creatures of habit… our well worn paths are ever so comfortable and become our auto-pilot… if we don’t take notice. She says wearing her jogging pants…
We can’t see the benefit of spending our precious time playing, when we could instead be productive.
Our world tells us…
we need to work hard
be busy to be important
check things off the to-do list
have work to show, or the sexy resumé, job title, etc.
We get caught up in the cycle. If we choose otherwise then we don’t belong.
We believe if we do the productive things we think we should do (or perhaps someone else said we should do), it will get us the outcome we want… and THEN we can play.
It’s acceptable then.
But here’s the thing…
There’s never any shortage of work.
And there is never a cap on “being productive” enough, especially if my self-worth is conditional because it’s tied to the output (or results) of the work I do.
I just need to prove to the world that I can accomplish this, achieve this goal, get the promotion, and then I can “play.”
A few years ago I had just left the company I made silly movies for, in order to start my own business. It was the beginning of summer and I needed to hustle to prove to myself that I could actually do this. I trusted it was the right decision—more than anything I ever had before—and yet I fell into the cycle…
I was excited, but also starting to get nervous, and could feel the scarcity come on strong…
Now that’s my tell by the way, when I feel the scarcity come on… I know I need to play.
So here I am in the dead of summer — I have no time for my family and friends —partly because I'm really enjoying my work, and partly because of this wee baby scarcity issue.
It can sometimes take a massive amount of energy to stop working in order to play. Like trying to stop a train while it’s picking up speed to arrive ‘on time’.
I managed to stop the train to take my nephew to the beach for a playdate. I was running through my to-do list while simultaneously trying to switch gears as we drove there.
We arrive. We build sandcastles. I bury him. We swim. We get ice cream. We play at the park together. It’s THE BEST.
We both had so much fun. By the end of our time there I was so relaxed, I was in the flow and felt like I had some balance back… this was living a juicy life, I reminded myself.
Then my agent called and told me I booked a job.
The job had nothing to do with the other work I was doing at the time, but it was money coming for a really fun project, and support for the business I was building.
More than anything, it was a sign for me that I could afford to be in joy more.
When we enjoy our lives, we’re in flow… and opportunities grow.
As Creatives, we’re already so much closer to Play in our vocations.
The challenge is that we sometimes lose the zest, or playful side of our passion, once it’s attached to making money.
We believe we are still being playful because our passion is most often how we play (maybe you’re a Artist/Creator or Storyteller play personality).
But the definition of Play from Brown is “an absorbing, apparently purposeless activity that provides enjoyment and a suspension of self-consciousness - which means that —
Play needs to come before the intention to monetize the Results.
How do we do this?
Maybe you schedule Play Dates with yourself and others. If you’re an artist… create for the sake of just creating. Take risks. Do it messy. Try a different style. Draw something the 7-year-old version of you would have adored.
Don’t intend to sell whatever you create, or blow-up instagram with your genius.
But if you create something magical from pure play that you think people might like?
Abundance Aggregate
If it wasn’t already obvious, Play is one of my main ingredients for living a juicy life! When life is fun, on purpose, and meaningful…it feels like Play!
This week on THIS JUICY LIFE, I shared an episode with two of my fabulous former coaching clients.
Christina and Torey talk about how living a life that does NOT center hustling or burnout—and provides space to PLAY— is their key to:
living a joyful life
feeling more authentic
AND having more success in their business!
It feels 1000% paradoxical to our societal messaging… but it’s the truth! They both share their skepticism of taking time away from their businesses to play and have fun, and the results they’ve had by doing so.
When I worked with Christina, we came up with a little ritual of a 1-minute dance party before she needed to do anything that felt a bit scary. When she felt inspired to send her work to companies she dreamed of working with? Cue the James Brown. According to Play, “one of the quickest ways to jump-start play is to do something physical. Just move.”
I’m guessing Christina is also a Kinesthete play personality :)
For Christina, Play is about “getting outside of perfectionism.” She’s taking a beading class next week because “it’s a good way to get inspired and take the pressure off making something ‘great’ all the time.”
Creating for the sake of creating.
These interludes allow her work (and life!) to stay fresh, joyful and fun!
Torey blends her Art with her love of Animals and Adventure. She volunteers in marine mammal rehabilitation where she has a front row seat for primal play!
She shares about her path to this on the podcast, alongside her love of the mysteries of the world, all of which show up in her brilliant KidLit illustrations.
Could Torey’s play personality also be The Explorer?
“Just a little true play in one’s life can bring everything else, including work, back in balance.”
It’s such a privilege to collaborate with such creative, playful people. It’s the greatest reminder for me to play. When we collaborate, it truly feels like I’m in my treehouse on my magic phone calling in possibilities.
Collaboration is like finding that friend in the playground who thinks the same stuff is funny… who is your kind of weird.
My 5-year-old nephew can be quite serious sometimes… 5 going on 40. And yet he’s found himself the most complimentary best friend (obviously a Joker) who makes him laugh harder than I’ve ever seen (it makes me a little jealous TBH).
For my nephew’s birthday, he received a gift from his BF that apparently took a solid week of focused work to design & construct; 3 different species poop made out of moulded clay, precisely painted with thoughtful color matches.
I have similarly won the friend lottery by being born in a small town in the exact same year as 10 other weirdos who like to play dress-up with ZERO AGENDA outside of snort-laughing.
Find the people that celebrate your weird, yes…. but also find the people who bring that shit right out of you. See what I did there?
If you think you might be my kind of weird, let’s collaborate!!! Reply or comment and let’s set up a play date.
Lots of Love and Play!!
Lauren
Love this, love YOU, and love how you have always encouraged me to embrace and share the weirdest parts of my brain (...and always bring your weirdness so my weirdness doesn't get lonely, lol)!
😛💖🙌