The Magnetism of being Delulu
Recipes for Success, and the Shiny Glow of a Juicy Collective of Jan's.
What’s the recipe for being successful?
We want the exact recipe please.
We want specifics, precision even. We want to know the order of operation. We want it to be simple to understand, quick, and we want it to be fun!
Package that up and give it to us, k?
We might even take the bait of some bro marketing seducing us with their “free value” offer, or super simple recipe that claims to have the answers.
So…got any leads on that quick-fix recipe?
Comment below.
Let’s crowdsource that shit.
Okay that’s it for this week, thanks for patiently waiting for MONTHS for a new post.
Okay, kidding.
Before you go… I maaaay have some thoughts about the recipe for success.
Not “the answer” - but a formula to find your own answer.
Recently on This Juicy Life we interviewed a former artist turned home chef/food writer & photographer, Peter Barrett.
Peter talks about liberating yourself from what he calls “Big Recipe” as a form of Activism and Empowerment. He believes that if you know the basics of food flavors, you can cook pretty much anything from scratch without a recipe.
What if Creating your own Success follows a similar formula?
If you know the basics, you’re free to improvise and create something you love.
So what are these harmonious flavors for success?
Here’s my thoughts, which we’ve explored in various posts before. It’s up to you to validate if these feel like harmonious flavors for you:
Focus (clarity on your direction)
Alignment (with your values and sense of purpose)
Growth Mindset (flexibility & belief in possibility)
Inspired Action (moving forward on what feels like a YES!)
Commitment (making the decision and moving forward)
Trust (that you will be guided where you’re meant to go)
Today I want to raise the possibility of adding:
Delusion
Oh she’s spicy!
Let’s discuss.
Creative Nuggets
A few weeks ago I listened to an episode of The Great Creators with Chef David Cheng, that really got this idea cookin’.
It started with this little amuse bouche interview with Julia Fox, and the appetizer of Austin Kleon’s writing on Amateur Status, which I’ve previously written about.
Cheng talked about his inspiration to open a Ramen Bar in NYC - the now infamous Momofuko Noodle Bar.
How do you just decide to open your very first restaurant in NYC, you ask?
A cauldron of piping hot delusion.
Guy Raz: Anyone who knows anything about the restaurant industry knows that if there is one thing you can bet on, it’s failing. So that was a risky thing to do. Looking back on that now, do you think you were ready to do that at the time?
David Cheng: Absolutely not. I was not ready but that’s exactly why it worked. I had just enough ambition, a little bit of know how, and a lot of stupidity - that’s why it worked.
The audacity to take a risk, without experience or wisdom, allowed him to fail forward.
He believes he became successful, and continues to be successful, by trying things that people would never try.
I don’t like to gamble, but if there is one thing I’m willing to bet on, it’s myself.
What do you call an Amateur with Agency?
“Delulu.”
And it’s magnetic AF! People get swept up in that energy!
“Amateurs are not afraid to make mistakes or look ridiculous in public. They’re in love, so they don’t hesitate to do work that others think of as silly or just plain stupid.” - Austin Kleon.
They don’t know any better, and they’re so freakin’ excited, that they just figure out the next steps and go for it!
When I meet someone that still has that effervescence, I want to do everything in my power to protect and nurture that DELULU energy for them!
Generally, amateurs will either:
fail forward, iterate and eventually hit some version of success,
or they start to become less delusional by listening to the mean voices in the world (or in their head) and eventually they quit.
Regardless, the delulu energy starts to fade.
Maybe you’re someone who quit and then decided to come back around again (yay!) but the thing is, the majority of you reading this (myself included) have had some kind of success in your careers.
You may not always feel successful because your marker of success expands as you do.
But with experience, you often lose your amateur mindset…your delusion.
And I would argue that it’s way more fun to be a delusional amateur, and often much more synchronistic.
“In the beginner’s mind, there are many possibilities. In the expert’s mind, there are few.” Shunryu Suzuki
So how can we keep that delulu energy alive and well?
The Unraveling
The clip with Julia Fox has been untangling itself in my own brain for the past few weeks.
“Anyone that’s anybody, was delusional. They believed it, and they became it.”
Anyone that’s anybody is usually undeniably magnetic too, wouldn’t you agree?
Is “Charisma” just a sexy form of Delusion?!?
They believed and they became.
All of the above flavor pairings for success, are packed into that one statement.
To believe, we need focus, alignment, growth mindset, and DELUSION.
To become, we need inspired action, commitment and trust.
“Some things have to be believed to be seen.” - Madeleine L’Engle
We have to keep dreaming!
Unearthing the areas where we don’t believe something is possible for us.
It’s a ripe opportunity to add some delulu energy!
I’ve been thinking a lot about my own limiting beliefs, and the limiting beliefs of the people I work with.
I have two ideas I want to share with you:
1. What if our limiting beliefs are already delusional?
Trick question. They are. They’re not real.
And we’re already buying into the story because we believe it.
So why not upgrade to the wild and crazy, fun and expansive flavour of Delusion:
For real. What do we have to lose?
Some part of us thinks that if we adopt this mentality then…
EVERYONE’s GONNA LAUGH AT US AND TALK ABOUT US BEHIND OUR BACKS (just me?)
We’ll fail miserably and then everyone will do the above.
We’ll fail miserably and be so disappointed in ourselves that we’ll never believe in ourselves again…and then everyone will do the above.
And yet… we don’t really fear being delusional AF about all of our limiting beliefs and the made-up BS that holds us back. We’re not worried “Everyone” is going to come for us if we buy all the way into the evil stepmother version of delusion.
Can you imagine?
“Can you believe she thinks her art is not good enough, or unique enough?”
“Look at her, she thinks she can never make a living doing something she loves.”
“Wow. She thinks the market is too saturated and that she shouldn’t try. HAHAHA!”
They’re not going to come for us because the majority of the world lives by that version of delusion, so much so that we just all agree that it’s “normal”.
But you’re not here to be normal.
You’re a creative.
You’re here to stir it up.
You’re here to create your own path forward, your own recipe for success.
How can you be a little DELULU about what you want?
What would this look like? I’d love to hear.
Belief consists in accepting the affirmations of the soul; unbelief, in denying them.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
2. What if we can borrow belief?
I invite you to think of someone you think is BEYOND AMAZING.
Let’s call her Jan. (I don’t know why - it’s the first name that came to mind!?!)
Jan probably doesn’t always see her magic, but you do.
You wouldn’t doubt for a freakin’ second that Jan is going to be successful.
Note: If this feels hard right now, think of someone who is not doing exactly the same thing you’re doing. It might be easier if they’re not on the same career path as you, at least until you build this belief muscle.
Got that person?
You’re like keep going Jan, you’re brilliant! You’re going to figure it all out, I just know it!
To borrow one of my client/friend’s words: It’s an in-my-bones-feeling. You just know Jan is going to kill it.
Now, let’s imagine that Jan also thinks you’re amazing. Why wouldn’t she?
If for some reason it’s not Jan, I bet you can think of someone who feels this way about you. Sidebar, if you can’t - please book a call with me. You deserve a Jan!
The way you believe in Jan is the way Jan believes in you.
You might even be able to remember some of the things that Jan has said to you before that exemplify this.
Proof!
What if you believed in you the same way that Jan believes in you?
What if it’s just a decision to believe in you?
What if you believing in your own success is the best way to honor your “Jan”?
What if it’s just what your Jan needs to see, to believe in herself?
What if that’s the kind of reciprocal abundance that this world needs to thrive?
What if DELULU is just considered DELULU until the belief becomes reality?
I’d rather live in a world of DELULU Creatives who are actively committed to following their inspiration, intuition, soul callings, purpose and pleasure, while they’re creating their own path forward.
We’re here to create inspiration to help others find their own answers for fulfillment and success.
Whatever that looks like - it’s unique to each of us.
If you want to borrow my belief in you, or in what’s possible, or find yourself a community of potential “Jan’s” - keep reading.
Abundance Aggregate
Despite everything I shared, I too fall prey to the alluring marketing of X webinar (or similar) that promises me THE answer for something I want.
Oh you guys, I’m such a skeptic about these “free value” offers that use up your valuable time (instead of providing any value) to douse you in scarcity marketing to prove that you need whatever program they’re selling!
I mean, can’t we all just be REAL with each other!?
And yet, every once in a while, it still works on me! I just joined a webinar last week, it came via a friend from a Coach he liked, and I thought okay fine, stop being so skeptical and give it a try.
I will caveat to say that they’re not all like this! I have found a few teachers who are REAL and do provide great free value, and I am 100x more likely to purchase from them. If you’re new here and wondering why I’m such a skeptic, you can catch that here.
So I asked my friend about his experience watching said webinar, after I impatiently watched, eyes bulging out of my head. He agreed that it didn’t provide any “helpful tools” or new information, but it didn’t bother him because he had no expectations.
He said he always goes into those things with an open mind, looking to glean one new piece of information that might be helpful for himself or someone else.
I thought that was a kind mindset, and I like it.
And—
I think it’s good to be a critical thinker…
But not if it’s going to kill your sense of possibility.
Or ability to be open-minded while discerning, looking for that one useful thing that might benefit someone else.
So I changed my perspective (considering I had already taken the bait and invested my time) and re-evaluated what I could take away from that experience.
And I managed to find a few things, after all.
Worth my hour of time?
No.
But, worth my experiment trying on this perspective?
Yes.
Here’s a thought…
What if we’re not meant to find our answers from any one thing, or one person … (I mean duh Lauren, what have you been on about for so long)…
What if we’re meant to find our answers in connection with each other.
My friend held the mirror up for me, he shared his experience, his perspective, and it was through that that I could glean value and insight.
Your “Jan” believes in you so much, she liberates you to see yourself as she sees you.
So with that in mind, and my own DELULU belief that we can create abundance in the world through communities, I believe we can co-create an example of this together.
Hot off the heels of our beautiful Back to School Refresh, a warm & cozy recipe has been brewing, one that I’m hoping will help keep you satiated and inspired all year round.
I have previously written about what an excellent community builder Alisa Singh is, and I believe in her whole-heartedly.
Alisa and I have decided to team up and pool our resources to co-create a Community Space that we’re (currently) calling…
It’s going to be a nurturing Community for like-minded creatives to collaborate, share resources, and support each other’s growth, happiness, and abundance.
We both feel strongly that an aligned community built on connection, compassion, and collaboration can create abundance!
It’s fueled by the belief that when we help each other win, we all win.
Alisa and I have seen evidence of this philosophy in other communities (that many of you reading have been involved in).
Not only will this be a connection space for like-minded people who want to celebrate you via chat and various channels, we will also be running weekly workshops that will include guest teachers, connection calls, office hours, co-work sessions, creative brainstorming parties, and so much more.
And we’ll be hosting it all on a private platform called “Heartbeat” (I mean, right?!?)
And it will be free. ACTUALLY.
Like for real.
We will eventually offer some paid options via this community, but we will always have a free, active, and abundant community collective.
Want to Join us?? We’ll be launching on October 28th.
Sign up here!
We’d love to know what you want and need!
If you could have a room full of people whose brains you could pick for free, who would you want to see there?
Get out there and be DELULU my friends. Go have some fun!
Believe in yourself and your dreams soooo much that people will want that too!
And if you’re ready to lean all the way into your DELULU but you’re not quite sure how yet… Book a discovery call with me and let’s talk about the unique flavor of fulfilling success you are going to create!
Did you find one interesting thing in here that might help someone you know?
All my love!
xo
Lauren